On October 15th I got the call I had been expecting but dreading. My Mum was in the final stages of her ilness and I was to get to Australia A.S.A.P.
I had thought myself well prepared for this, emotionally, intellectually etc., but that call virtually destroyed my mind. I had been packing for a trip to a place called Port Elgin, a lovely picturesque spot on the shores of Lake Huron. It is also a cold spot, so after recieving the call, I methodically unpacked the warm clothing, replaced it with lighter stuff, made a few phone calls to arrange for my absence, another call to get me a ticket out of the country, found my passport............and then I just lost it. I was alone at home, my partner off visiting her own Mum.
It started in my legs, which got inexplicably shaky and trembly, then moved to my belly which started quivering of its own accord, then a great gush of emotion spewed out of me as I grasped the fact that this woman, my Mum lay dying in a hostpital in Australia. The tears sprang out of my eyes as if they were powered by an emotion far deeper than I had ever remembered experiencing, splashed off my glasses and back into my eyes. I started what can only be described as a primal screaming, a keening, a letting go of my Mothers spirit, a realization of a cessation of a love that only a mother and her child share. I howled and I shouted and screamed, as I cried my heart out for my Mum. I felt a cold, bleak feeling of sheer and utter desolation as I slowly, ever so slowly started to come out of that initial bout of weeping. The phone rang. That phone call was the first of many that came in that weekend. Friends started dropping by. One stayed with me all evening, went home late. The ticket was arranged through the hard work and tenacity of another valued friend and I was driven to the Airport by yet another friend.
